Dear Deaf Community members,
We have seen so much infighting going on and in my opinion it is not productive.
What I do is click on topics that interest me and that is how easy it is. If I do not like a certain topic or author and I just pass. There are people out there who enjoy learning about “deafness” or “cochlear implants” will click on that topic. Others will click on “deafhood” or “deaf culture” and it is the person’s choice. Why does the Deaf community want to control people’s choice of topics? If they like to read about “AG Bell” or” AVT therapy” as for example, why attack those people who happen to find those topics interesting?
There are so many topics that I do not click because it does not interest me and I do not go around and bashing people who does. We need to learn to respect other people’s interest and let them be. Diversity of ideas is what made America great and trying to oppress someone who does not cater to your own beliefs is immortally wrong.
Personal attacks is not the way to go in my opinion.
Deafherbalist's World 
MM said,
October 21, 2009 at 3:07 am
The issue is that of course is that you can opt out of sites easily at DR you don’t like or not interested in, but it does NOT prevent attacks on others just the same. SO there is no opt out that works really, except DR being highly pro-active in removing continual opffenders, that means blogs AND their comment sections, bloggers must take responsibilties for how their comment spots are used to inflame and attack, or support DR in removing them.
Current concerns are about ‘audisms’ this is a red herring, a term unaccepted except in the USA,and clearly there aas as manydefiitions of whatever it is used to, far too many for DR to lay down approriate gueilines. Where personal abiuse takes place, then the blogger is primarily responible for it being aired, and the logical next step is a warning from DR.
I think it is inevitable that any aggregate cannot allow a free-for-all and depend on self- monitoring, and expect everyone will forma consensus on what is acceptable. It’s a nice idea, rather utopian, completely unworkable. How can we monitor ASL vblogging ? many contributors to DR are not familiar with ASL at all, what is to prevent the ASL vblogger offering personal abuse, nothing. To suggest the cultural deaf are above personal abuse is living in fairy land, they get as irate as anyone else.
These argumnets go around and around, differences will ALWAYS be there, personal abuse we don’t have to put up with, I would expect DR to protect me against bloggers that do that behind my back, they DO have the power to stop that, I feel in some respects DR is damned if they do, and damned if they don’t. Once you accept self moderation is not going to really happen with people of entrenched view, then the way is pretty clear, they tone the abuse down or they go.
I am pro-active at my blog (It’s why there are fewer responses !), any nasties just don’t get air time there. I don’t care if it is called censorship, you can disagree with me, you cannot abuse.
Karen Mayes said,
October 21, 2009 at 6:31 am
You and MM could not have said it any better. We can’t please everyone. Instead, we could appreciate the diversity, even if we don’t always agree.
That’s why we have a mouse as a remote control ;o)
Tayler said,
October 21, 2009 at 11:41 am
Bravo.
the one and only ridor said,
October 22, 2009 at 4:03 am
I was bored this evening. Was recovering from an illness and came to see this entry.
As usual, MM is doing his job. MM is not well-liked figure in the UK. This person is not part of deaf-related organizations in the UK (I know because I have about 15 friends scattered throughout the UK and they all said that MM is one bitter little boy who often tried to berate others to submit to his expectations which many refused) and in the process, the only option MM has is to blog where he can garner some attention from gullible readers like you, DeafHerbalist or Karen Mayes.
The bottom line is that DeafRead/DeafVideo are filled with lots of dangerous people who do not hesitate to call the local police departments to file a false report on certain persons. Not only that, they also engaged in contacting the vloggers/bloggers’ workplaces in attempts to get them fired/disciplined.
Oh, yeah, Tayler even told several people that I was in jail. He claimed that Gary Brooks told him that my sister told him. I contacted Gary. He denied it. I contacted my sister — my sister hadn’t seen Gary in years.
How professional. My efforts to communicate with Tayler on a professional level disintegrated when he spinned the lies against me from day one. There is a pattern on how Tayler Mayer handled with individuals who *disagreed* with him.
You know, I had some pals who knew Tayler because of their college backgrounds — they warned me that once Tayler disliked you, you’re finished. He’ll make your life unbearable for a long time.
Then more and more people experienced the similar situations with Tayler and noticed that what I experienced is the *same* ones that they endured when they communicated with Tayler.
That was a cue to abandon DeafRead/DeafVideo – they are free to go wherever they wanted. I don’t encourage nor push them to walk out — I only tell them what really happened in the first place.
And allow them to see that there is a *pattern* on Tayler Mayer’s antics.
And deafherbalist, I reserve the right to write blog entries urging the aggregator to focus on deaf-centric issues. And if it means dismissing the blogs/vlogs that solely focuses on speech/AVT/CIs, then so be it. But no, I was banned.
And you urge me to respect? Please.
Each time you try to plead your case, Stephen, you lose credibility. And no wonder I don’t read deaf-run blogs/vlogs that much. All it takes one to look at each other’s vlogs/blogs.
Many good/outstanding vlogs/blogs has stopped/left/abandoned DeafRead/DeafVideo and you *know* that.
I think I’m wasting my time here.
Don’t expect me to come back, though.
Cheers,
R-
deafherbalist said,
October 22, 2009 at 10:16 am
Ricky Taylor,
I understand your personal issues with other people. I do not want to take sides and where Deaf people are, I go. I am also aware that the Deaf community is divided because of personal issues. We need to stay together and work on the same common goal. I always appreciate diversity and views. If you do not like a certain person and do not go to their topics. I do not understand why it is so hard? I will say it again, “If you do not like this person or their views, don’t go there and there are many other topics to enjoy from.”
This is not about Tayler Mayer and it is about us the “Deaf Community,” why binging his name in the spotlight in the first place? What do you want to gain from this? Are you for the Deaf community, If yes, then lets chat about issues, maybe about politics or the health plan. We can do a lot better than this.
Ricky Taylor, are you with the Deaf community or not? Please, do not bring up Tayer Mayer’s name because we are not interested in personal issues. This has been going on and on… Nothing has gained so far.
MM said,
October 22, 2009 at 12:00 pm
You are entitled to your view Ridor, I don’t think either of us are flavour of the month most of the time. I’m not aware DR is a popularity contest, I try to address things direct as I see them, so do you I gather. Things have moved on in the UK, we are light years ahead of you and your isms and hoods, that is stating an UK fact, shoot the messenger if you will.
If you know so much, you will know of ALL the deaf contacts you have in the UK I was the only one who traversed across the UK to London to put the deaf point, not ONE deaf group sent a rep, not ONE of your contacts got on a train and joined me, they just moaned, I can hold me head up high thanks. Of course I’ve crossed swords with other deaf, hasn’t EVERYONE here, I thought that was your specialty anyway, weren’t you on banned list ?
If I didn’t care, I wouldn’t spend years campaigning or being online just to annoy your friends, they carry their own baggage, that’s their job. I don’t apologise either. Always good to hear you rant….:)
the one and only ridor said,
October 23, 2009 at 12:20 am
You said that we need to stay together and work on the same common goal.
Tell that to Tayler Mayer. My efforts to communicate with Tayler failed. He does *not* respond. I found out from many vloggers/bloggers who walked out — they said that they emailed Tayler. Never got a response. How in the world can we reach consensus if Tayler do not make an effort to *communicate*?
We need to stay together? I was banned because I disagreed with Tayler’s policies. And he retaliated. Not only that, when I run RidorLIVE.com, I used to get about 5-10 emails daily from people who would hurl insults as well as threats. I ignore them at all times. When I made vlogs disputing people’s views, these viewers called the local police department *twice* in the middle of the night, claiming that I was manufacturing meth last May and June.
And you tell me to be supportive of the community? My response? Fuck you, Stephen.
You’re right that if I do not like their topics, don’t visit. I agreed with you. I even suggested Tayler to create “channels” to categorize the vlogs/blogs. Again, he never responded to any of my emails.
But the problem is that DVTV/DR has been tolerant of incessant entries/vlogs about CI/speech/anti-ASL which is tiresome and it drove many Deaf people away. Many Deaf people already endured this on daily basis with hearing peers out there and when they get on internet, they would like to talk about the issues that truly concerns them on daily basis such as discrimination, housing, dreams, entertainment associated with deaf-related issues.
Without these notions of medical/deafness-related attitudes, that is.
If it is not about Tayler and that it is about Deaf Community — spare me the bullshit. It was Tayler who repeatedly told the viewers that he considers DVTV/DR a community — what has he contribute OTHER than DR/DVTV? None, I bet.
What do I want to gain? The truth is that I made a bold prediction to few friends of mine few months ago that DVTV/DR will die with a whimper. And there will be a better aggregator that will be professional, fair and justice for all. And so far, I knew of 3 different groups that are currently working on creating a brand-new aggregators.
If you want Deaf people to work together — be sure to tell the certain individuals *not* to make these prank calls as well as the communication between the viewers & the editors be *open* at all times.
Tayler did not.
And you really cannot beg or plead many vloggers/bloggers to “stay together” these days.
His time is done for!
R-
MM said,
October 23, 2009 at 2:57 am
I wouldn’t work with you until you wash your mouth out Ridor, and few others wouldn’t either. The way you come across is hostile, bad-tempered, far from conciliatory to other deaf, and venomous to most. You have no chance in hell of enlisting any support for the way you go about things. We defend your right to say it, we won’t defend your attitude. You encourage the dissent that takes place, you thrive on it, no publicity for you is bad publicity. Ignoring you is the best way I can address it.
deafherbalist said,
October 23, 2009 at 3:27 am
Ricky,
I understand your expression using the “F” word to make a bold statement. I was addressing to you and not Tayler Mayer. You have leadership potential to bring people together for the betterment of the Deaf community. It appears that you and the other person had a form of bad chemistry and you can go beyond that. You do not need to depend on that person for change and you can be proactive to become an agent of change.
The world does not fall on Tayler Mayer or even revolves around him. This is where I bring in the community in to share the common vision which is to share information and you are part of this effort. Just walk away from Tayler’s door and open the other door or doors in front of you. Those are doors of opportunities that are waiting for you to open.
Someone who made prank calls on you is immature and I understand how you feel about those calls, also, there are a lot of jerks out there. We need to stay focused because the sake of the Deaf Community is being challenged.
I am not talking about DeafVideo.TV or DeafRead Community and it is about us (You, me, and others) getting together and chat. That is the main point because we have that medium and we need to take advantage of this opportunity to educate and spread the Deaf gospel. Do you see where I am driving at, Ricky?
What is happening now is that people are giving the wrong energy to that certain person and that needs to stop. This is NOT your battle because you do not have that control. Your controls are bringing people to a certain topic and EDUCATE them about Deaf issues. I do understand do not like any kinds of medical related terminologies and don’t go to that topic. There are people who wanted to learn about those medical related discussions and let them be! They are in process of finding out who they are and they had to start from somewhere at the end they may reach their destination.
Burning bridges are destructive and forcing Deaf people to take sides is not a good way to go. Everyone is different and if someone likes to use the Deafness terminology, so what? We have Deafhood terminology and we attract people with similar interests. I am looking at the big picture, Ricky and I know we can divide our community easily but we do not want to do that. If you do not like certain people and please do not type out their names and when you do, you are giving them more power. This is what I have been trying to convey all along.
I could have written you off and ignore you but I see a HUGE potential in you, you are worth investing for in terms of the betterment of the Deaf community. I know we differ in viewpoints and we do have the same common vision to see that our American Sign Language rights are protected and among other things that are related to Deaf issues. Please, go beyond words, insults, demeaning tones, because it is not you and inside you are really a good person, I know that for a fact.
Lastly, it is not my intention to degrade you or anything that is associated with this term, my intention is to let you know that the battle you are fighting is not yours. You have a bigger battle out there which is the perseverance of the Deaf race and the language.
the one and only ridor said,
October 23, 2009 at 2:36 pm
Hardy, I think we are on the same page but certainly in different paragraphs. I do not hold any grudge nor hatred upon Mayer. I’m simply delighted at the outcome of the mess with DVTV/DR/Deaf communities at large. What I predicted in the past has occurred.
Last weekend in DC, a certain blogger confronted my brother saying, “Your brother hates me so much! Why?”
My brother did not know who this person is until the person identified himself. That’s when my brother knew of his name and quickly explained that I do not hate him at all. Just that I disagreed with what he believed in. That’s it.
That’s who I am. I certainly understand his claims, beliefs and so on. But I do not have to subscribe in tolerating his ridiculous beliefs.
I already moved on to greener pastures but you know how it works with boats, when you row, your eyes stare in the back of the boat, you move forward but you do not forget.
You’re right that the world does not fall nor revolves around/on Tayler — but the problem is that there are many deaf bloggers/vloggers who do think like that.
Hardy, I already moved on to greener pastures. I had been consulting with a certain individual about creating a better aggregator away from DeafRead/DVTV. Things are moving as scheduled. Which is why I suspected that it prompts Tayler to scramble in making vlogs/blogs trying to save his numbers of viewers/readers.
All I’m saying is that DR/DVTV will be history.
I never burned bridges. I will refrain from identifying the culprits who burned a lot of bridges. My door is always open. Which is why a wide range of people kept on contacting me from day one. I merely bring the spotlight on certain individuals that has made one too many wrongs on ourselves. That’s it.
Nothing malicious about it.
R-
MM said,
October 23, 2009 at 3:40 am
He won’t listen, he started by attacking me in the UK, which had nothing at all to do with this topic, we see what a vindictive person he can be, and unaccepting of other deaf people, god help Americans backing people like that. He aint fooling nobody.
the one and only ridor said,
October 23, 2009 at 2:26 pm
I was not attacking you, MM. I simply pointed out that not all Deaf people in the UK agreed with you. I have *yet* to find ONE Deaf UK friend who talks *positive* of you, MM.
YOu do not know who I am, nor do I with you. You can assume that I’m vindictive and unaccepting of other deaf people. It is too bad that you cannot understand my signs because occasionally, Hardy can affirm that I have friends with people who do not sign.
Your last comment is offensive but I can dismiss it because I am confident in knowing that there are MANY people who supported me of my approach.
C’est la vie!
R-
deafherbalist said,
October 23, 2009 at 11:18 pm
MM,
Ricky Taylor means well and he is a member of the Deaf community. The members are most likely to be blunt. Ricky’s comments are what he sees and you should not take his views personally. He is frustrated with things that he cannot change and he wanted to make things better. Ricky is what and who he is also we do not want him to change.
I suggest you not to take Ricky’s vulgarities in stone because it is his way of expressing his views with levels of intensity. Sometimes when people do not understand what he is experiencing in terms of frustrations and this is how he expresses his thoughts using vulgarities. As you may be aware the vulgarities that he uses may not have any moral implications behind it. It is how he gets his message across with few and simple words.
I know that many people view him as an extremist and to me he is not what people think. He is a very nice man and what I like about Ricky that he is himself. I do not like phonies and people who hide behind their masks also you have no way of knowing what will happen next. Ricky is very predictable and what you see is what you get. That is honesty in my opinion.
He has a good number of connections all over the country including Europe and he keeps up with news. I know there are many people who had questioned his sources and credibility; however, as long as I have known his batting average is pretty close to accurate in general.
MM said,
October 24, 2009 at 3:03 am
Spreading petty gossip by nameless people he doesn’t ID, doesn’t sound credible to me, it all contributes to undermining people. Nobody here is in any popularity contest I certainly am not. Deaf.read is NOT a social site, not really a ‘community’ site, I’d be the first to agree with that. It is an apolitical site that deaf people contribute to of very wide variations. That is my primary interst at DR.
The heated arguments that take place are because it is political oriented, some sector expect it to be aka the ‘Deaf Community’ and regulated by peers and ‘deaf-centric’ whatever that means because I have no idea what that means. No-one can define what a deaf sector is anymore, or a deaf person, all we see are various people trying their damnedest to do so against a tide of argumental hypocricy really.
I also abhor poor language being used, I’m not a dated relic and old fashioned, I just think it offers zilch to communicating anything, and there are young people who tune in to DR and despite equality, I feel the women would prefer not to put up with this either, basically it does nothing for communicating issues anyway, because people object to the tone of it. I’ve had nasty e-mails calling me a prig/prude silly,stupid, not in the 21stc and they are the nice ones…
I’d defy anyone to log in to my blog and find personal attack anywhere, or in the comment spots I don’t allow them. I’ve been ridiculed and attacked as a censor. Ridor by comparison seems to spend most of his time attacking someone or other, the fact he is intelligent and accurate does not excuse the approach, it would deter me from taking value from what he says. What sort of examples are we showing the next generation of deaf ? It is OK to wade in to other deaf any way you can and any manner you can ? they will take one of two approaches, they will emulate appalling behavior or take the view to steer well away from deaf sites and waste their lives in trivia on Facebook, most have already taken the second option, operate little cliques have some mini worlds of their own, that is the deaf community now..
You should ask the question where all this is going and to what point. I don’t join deaf groups, DEAF don’t here, we were driven out 10 years ago. As Ridor is so knowledgeable of UK issues and groupings let him tell us who the hell they are because we don’t know… I spend a lot of time blogging for deaf to get back into their representation, I cannot do it on my own ! All the UK has is a small collection of online campaigners, most of them very clever and otherwise able deaf people, but mostly at odds with each other.
I have offered to march with them, I have gone without them. I can’t get them off their backsides on the computer.
Ridor describes, as a group of friends in the UK is in fact a clique’ and as we know you are in those or you are out of them, a rather typical example of what problems we ALL face today in moving forward, and I defy Ridor to ID how many of them have been in a deaf club, on any regular basis, I do every week. With everyone a minority, and everyone wanting their own spaces, we call that ISOLATION where we come from.
Naturally I resist that approach as negative. If we compare my view with what cultural deaf want, they are almost identical, a real community an abandonment of self interest, and the in-fighting to stop. Our approaches obviously are not the same as to how we do that, but I don’t abuse putting that view and won’t tolerate it on my blog either.
Ridor has been banned hasn’t he at DR ? if that was the consensus then does it help if he is in via comment sections still doing the things he has been banned for ? We are none of us helping the situation by doing that. His so-called friends and he and I can name them easily, shared a commonality with me, we were ALL kicked out of the same UK blog by an owner who ran it like a private club, it is ludicrous they attack me because I shared the same fate!
I am not in the same clique obviously, cliques are killing the deaf community, I want no part of them, cliques are not a community. As for social things I have a very good social and deaf life, but I don’t run it online, call me dated, I like real people to talk to.